Thoughts on Respect vs Empathy & Compassion
Trust thought for today - questioning the craze for Empathy & Compassion in leadership - instead practice Respect.
Empathy & Compassion are important skills for good leaders we are regularly told - eg here from Forbes a couple of weeks ago - https://bit.ly/3zwfBwY. But I have now concluded that in a management setting they are likely to be shallow & patronising & demonstrating Respect is more important than both.
First the definitions:
Empathy - is about the ability to identify with someone else's feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person's situation.
Compassion - is about sensitivity & concern for the suffering of others.
What’s not to like about these you might reasonably say? Here's a few:
* The likelihood of a leader being really able to empathise with a vast array of individual employees, customers, stakeholders is slight. Empathy will surely be high on the list of bullsht bingo words which we can spot a mile away!
* Empathy seems to be rarely attached to action. “I hear what you are saying’. ‘I feel your pain” (Yeah, right, so what are you going to do about it?)
* Compassion for another’s suffering is a good starting point. Perhaps the real question is what are you going to do about it?
* Respect, for me, seems more attune to the dignity of the other person & more attached to taking action, than simply reflecting on one’s own feelings about another. This is a good thing. Eg:
* One can empathise & still have no clue what is really felt & experienced. Respectful leaders don’t assume, they empower, involve, engage, ask. (Remember - ASSUME makes an Ass of U and Me!)
* Respect is also about one treats the other. Walking the talk.
* Respect is about appreciation - of another’s role/contribution/skills.
* Respect feels active, the others feel passive.
I may be utterly wrong about all these of course. That’s why it’s trust for today, tomorrow I might feel differently!
Oh yes. And I do know that Respect is probably top of the bullsht bingo list!
Click here for the post which had some interesting feedback